


Can I Lay Underneath You All Day?

by witch_blades



Category: Machine Gun Kelly (Musician), Yungblud (Musician)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-09 20:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20483597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witch_blades/pseuds/witch_blades
Summary: Dominic really likes Colson, and it kind of sucks.





	Can I Lay Underneath You All Day?

**Author's Note:**

> I spent for-fucking-ever editing this. I still don't have a ton of faith in it because most of the writing was done between 2-5 in the morning on a caffeine high. No one ships them apparently (for some fucking reason?) so I decided to man up and write it. Thanks if you're willing to read.

Colson ambled out from behind the defaced door of his tour bus; unlit joint held between his lips. He was stressed, wound like a rubber band ready to snap, wishing he could make time to unwind. A break from his frenetic schedule. Head lost in thought, his mind wandered through the expectations placed on him. This was interrupted only by the thundering footsteps approaching him. 

“Kells!” Turning around he faced a beaming Dominic Harrison. Colson mirrored his grin. 

“What’s up, Dominic?” Colson hadn't spoken to Dominic for more than thirty minutes since their last show. Both men had chaotic lives, unable to truly keep the other in the loop. This tour would be the ideal occasion for the pair to not only bond, but to get into plenty of trouble. 

“I haven’t seen you in forever, mate!” Dom shouted every word. Colson laughed; his laugh was delightful. It could charm the pants off anyone in a six-mile radius. Dom was well within six miles. 

“It’s been three months, man." He laughed. "Feels like it, though. I'll give you that.” Colson curved at the waist and pulled Dom into a half-assed hug. He let his hand rest on Dominic's shoulder. Both smiles widened. Dominic had the most contagious grin Colson had ever seen. They pulled away after a moment some may consider more than a platonic degree of persistence. 

Colson was not gay. He'd never had interest in another man. He’d never considered another man for anything beyond friendship. Dominic did not share this experience. He’d been with men in every sense of the term. He’d also found himself interested in men who didn’t give seem him a second thought, at least not in that regard. This frustration extended to Colson to a degree. He didn’t consider himself infatuated with Colson per se. He found him to be great-looking, with a magnetic personality to make anyone swoon. He wouldn’t turn down any advances, but he knew Colson would not be making any. 

Dominic didn’t let himself think about it often. He was able to resist even shirtless Kells, which was a feat in and of itself. Dom found Colson to be one of the most amazing people he'd ever met, but he had zero interest in ever pursuing it. He knew Colson was straight, he respected that. Yet, his mind wandered when Colson sauntered out of his bus, following a disheveled woman. Sweat collecting on his brow, a satisfied look plastered across his face. 

Colson was sweet, not only to Dominic, but to everybody. It did make him feel special when Colson would tell him what a musical genius he believed him to be. They spent almost an unusual amount of time alone together. They preferred each other to most of the people around them. They connected on a deeper level than either had with previous tour mates. Colson could listen to Dominic talk about music for hours. Dom could listen to Kells talk about anything. They never had a dull moment together. The crew often complained that the laughter and spontaneous duets kept them up at night. 

Dom kept the majority of his thoughts about Colson chaste. Outside of the rare fatuous fantasy, he viewed Kells as nothing more than a close friend. Colson was easy to keep off his mind, and Dominic typically had total control over his thoughts of his friend. 

Colson barged onto Dominic's bus, as he did often. This time, with enough alcohol to keep a village loaded for a week. This was only a slight exaggeration. His arms held a brown paper bag, and Colson announced he'd come from the liquor store. Dominic was always down for a drink, and he joined Colson on the seat he'd already helped himself to. 

They got drunk and they talked for hours, delving into the most personal topics. They discussed everything, there were no limits. Sex, drugs, they discussed their worst fears, their worst heartbreaks. The buzz they'd built up only let things flow. Once the cap had released, it was difficult to contain the flood. The more Dominic learned about Colson, the more he fell for him. He made Dom feel inadequate, and this only made him want Colson more. 

As the night carried on, Dominic couldn't think about anything apart from his friend. Colson's hands had the most aesthetically placed veins he had ever seen. He damn near drooled over his friend's faint muscle definition that let him see the might beneath his soft exterior. His commanding energy already made Dominic turn to liquid, and this visual representation only encouraged that. It was challenging to not picture the stronger of the two overpowering him. He felt like a freak, ashamed with how easy it was for Colson to turn him to putty. He was unable to ignore the feelings welling any longer. 

Dominic felt like a predator. He was full of contempt, and he could direct that few places. He turned his shame inward. Blamed himself for catching feelings for someone who would quite literally hate him if he knew. That thought hit like a punch to the gut. Colson would feel violated if it was ever revealed, and even then, Dominic would still have these feelings. Still yearn for him, pine over the man who couldn't love him back. 

If Colson knew at this moment, he would have been indignant. He didn’t have an issue with homosexuality by any means, if it was never directed towards him. He was sickened by the idea alone. He was straight after all. He knew about Dom’s past relationships with men, but he had confidence in his friend, he trusted that's all they were. Dominic accepted that. He knew that once they were off the road his feelings would subside. He only had to ride out these two months and try to forget that he wanted to do the same to his friend. 

Colson went back into his bus to spark up, and Dominic went back to his bunk to sulk. He slipped past the drape and turned away from the opening, trying to think about anything but the empty feeling blooming in his chest. His head hurt from the tension; his stomach tightened in knots when he thought about Colson. He wished he'd never come on this godforsaken tour. It had brought him nothing but misery and a worsened addiction. 

He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he woke up to Colson and a few of his buddies busting through his door. 

"Dom! Wake up, we've got three hours." They laughed as they stumbled to the bunk section. His curtain ripped away allowed light to pour in. Dominic grabbed his head in his hands and grumbled under his breath. 

"You fuckin' idiots. I'm up, I'm up." The group laughed louder and let the curtain fall back to its original position. Dominic got his bearings and rolled onto the floor, grasping at the bunks above to pull himself to a stand. His limbs felt heavier than usual as he went about his typical routine. 

He struggled find his usual energy. Fumbling with his eyeliner, not bothering with his typical outfit. He opted for the more comfortable option as he felt his mood darken another shade. 

“Dom! It’s show time, baby.” He knew the nickname was playful, but it made his stomach tighten. Dominic combed his fingers through his hair a final time and put his trademark grin on. The show was animated, electric. It made him appreciate Colson even more than he had hours in the hours proceeding. Following, Colson wrapped him in a bear hug and praised their set endlessly. 

“Homie, did you fuckin’ see those topless chicks out there? They were-“ he made vulgar gestures with his hands and the crew shook their heads. Some chuckled halfheartedly, some agreed with him, and Dom pretended he hadn't heard it. Thinking about Colson with a woman made him feel things no man should feel about their tour mate. Plus, part of him hoped acting as if Kells wasn't fucking anyone would help him forget that it was only him. 

His distaste for himself had become projected onto the world. Why did he have to fall for the people he had the lowest probability of getting anything from in return? He couldn't stomach this shit. He headed towards his bus to get wasted and spend the night alone. Talking to the people surrounding him in their endless blithesome manner sounded like a nightmare come to life. 

Everyone had decided it was time to turn in. Everyone, that is, besides Colson. He made his way to Dominic’s bus with a bottle in alcohol in each of hand, and a joint in either pocket. The champagne was the celebrate their show, while the tequila was purely for getting hammered. Colson ducked beneath the curtain and shook Dominic's shoulder. 

Half an hour into the night both were drunk, and Colson was high. They were both in a prime state to make terrible decisions. Dom felt loose, courageous, ready to take on the world. Colson was straight up horny. He voiced this without a second thought, and it made Dom stir. Neither had realized how close they’d moved to each other until Colson set his hand on Dominic’s. After a brief pause, he ripped it back like he had been shocked. Colson looked at his wrist watch, but didn’t bother to read the time. 

Colson pulled himself away, scooting to the opposite end of the couch. “It’s getting late, we should get to bed.” 

“Oh. You’re right we have-” he paused to let out a sigh, “a show tomorrow.” He stared into the near empty bottle in his lap and tried to ignore the feeling Colson’s hand had left on his own. Colson walked out without another word, and Dom crawled into his own bunk. The rattle of the door slamming closed behind Colson made his heart sink. He scolded himself for getting hurt by something so insignificant, so expected. Dominic struggled to sleep, but the cocktail of drugs in his system made it come easier. 

Dominic woke up the next morning, his head pounding and his stomach churning. The realization that he couldn’t deny his feelings anymore hit him like a train. He was complete putty in Colson’s hands. He missed the way his hand felt on his skin. He felt sick, absolutely vile. He felt like a predator, and the fact that Colson would agree if he knew didn’t help. 

He prepared for the show with all the enthusiasm he could muster. Knowing that he'd gain a reward of friendly affection was enough to get him through the night in the shape he was in. As the night went on and the showtime grew nearer, he found himself feeling queasier by the second. He didn’t want to go on, not one bit. But, letting Colson down was not an option. So, Dominic dragged himself backstage. He tried to act as himself as he could. Rook gave him a weak high five. Slim offered him a blunt, and he declined politely. When Dominic saw Colson, half buttoned shirt, skinny jeans so tight it had to be blasphemy, he felt the butterflies flutter in his stomach once more. He was irresistible, and Dom caught himself staring for too long on many occasions. Luckily, he could pass it off on being sick, zoning out. Everyone seemed to buy it. 

The show went well, aside from Dominic feeling like absolute shit. All he wanted was to crawl into his bunk and not return until his sickness passed. Not only his physical symptoms, but also the sickening infatuation his self-loathing brain had spawned. Only one of those seemed to be reasonable, and he opted for a night of rest. Dom's plans were cut short by his comrade jerking him aside, and guiding him to his tour bus. 

“Dom! I need to show you this demo, dawg!” The excitement in his voice melted Dominic's heart. “I know it’s our next fuckin’ banger, dude!” Dominic followed Colson to the bus. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint him. His need to bond more with Colson outweighed his need to rest significantly. 

Part of him questioned his decision to ignore his blooming headache and churning stomach, yet he followed Kells onto his bus. The song was mind-blowing, unlike anything he'd heard before. He was honored that Colson wanted him to be a part of it. The butterflies returned, and along with them, the nausea. As he began to salivate, he knew what would soon follow. He could feel the acid gurgling in his stomach. Before he had the chance to aim for a waste receptacle, he had projectile vomited over the table, and on to the floor. Colson’s initial reaction was to laugh, but that soon turned to concern. 

Colson helped Dominic off the couch, and he doubled over across Colson's arm. He lowered Dominic into his bed, assuring him he'd be content with sleeping on the couch. Colson swiped Pepto tablets from their makeshift first aid kit, along with a lukewarm bottle of water. Dom couldn't help but stare. He took time to appreciate how Colson's muscles flexed with each movement he made. The warm light gave him a statuesque appearance. Colson leaned into the bunk and pushed the hair from Dominic’s face. He allowed it to lingered for a bit longer. When Colson slid his hand away, he stated that Dominic had a fever. 

Dominic laughed and rambled about how that was just his luck. To get some sort of virus only three days into a tour. Colson took a seat at the foot of the bed, hunched to the point of being bent in two. They laughed together over how a situation this unlucky could only happen to them. Colson broke the laughter to ask if Dom needed anything else. He requested a blanket and a packet of saltine crackers. Colson pulled himself to a stand, and Dominic took the time to savor watching him walk away. 

By the time Colson returned, Dominic had fallen asleep. He leaned in to drape the blanket over his friend, pulling it to his chin. He placed the crackers against the wall, and made his way to the section of the bus that closest resembled a living room. He scooped up what he could of the vomit, and dropped a dirty towel over the rest of the mess. Exhausted, he collapsed onto the couch, asleep within minutes. 

The next morning Colson woke to Dominic messing with the track on his computer. His head nodded at a steady beat, occasional keypad clicks and thoughtful noises supplemented. He immediately pulled himself upright, curious about how the new track would sound. Dominic offered the headphones, describing the adjustments he'd made, his voice muffled by the music. 

Dominic continued to mess with the beat until they both decided it was ready for a vocal track. Colson closed the laptop and placed the headphones beside them. It was nearing eight in the evening, and Colson wanted a drink. He invited Dominic out, along with the rest of the crew. Everyone was on board, and they loaded up for a night on the town. This had been the first night so far that they'd had a day off, they intended on celebrating. 

Colson and Dominic spent the entire night together. They were drawn to each other more than they had been to the rest of the crowd. Colson ordered shots, Dominic downed half. Colson soon found himself all over a girl who could not have been older than nineteen. He watched them kiss, watched them grind, watched them make their way toward the exit. 

All Dominic's self-loathing, all his contempt for the world he lived in, all of it flipped onto Colson. Colson had no regard for anyone but himself. He would take that girl to the bus, fuck her, and leave her drunk and disoriented on the street half an hour later. The chances she'd have an orgasm were low. Colson was selfish. Despite all the hatred burning through Dominic's mind, he would give anything to trade with the girl in his bus. 

Dominic stormed out of the bar only to find Colson sitting on the curb. He took a seat next to him, the alcohol aiding in dizziness. He decided not to ask about the girl. He gave him a reassuring pat on the back and headed back to his bus. As he stood Colson wished him a goodnight, and Dominic couldn't hold a grudge against him anymore. 

Dominic was now rendered useless on this tour. He couldn't be alone with Colson without having his mind entirely overwhelmed with thoughts of him. The only benefit was the increased energy every night. The passion poured into each set. The fans noticed, they claimed to have never seen a better performance. 

It was nearing the end of the tour. They had eight shows and ten nights before they'd be heading home. Splitting in every direction, the group landing on different continents. Dominic realized this was the last time he'd see Colson for a very long time. He decided he couldn't live with the guilt brewing within him. He decided to confess. 

He planned on doing it over text. Dominic would have waited until the final night of the tour, but the dangerous amount of alcohol in his system at the moment encouraged this objectively terrible decision. He leaned out of his bunk and fumbled for his phone. After getting hold of it, and ripping the charger from the wall, he unlocked it and allowed his thumb to hover of the messaging application. For some reason, the vodka reassured him that Colson would forgive him in mere hours. That in due time they would go right back to being the pals they'd always been. Dominic selected his name and began to type his message. He hit send before he intended to. 

"Hey Kells I" was all he had managed to type before hitting the arrow beside the text box. Colson sent only a question mark in return. 

"Whoops. I didn't mean to hit send yet." was all that Dominic sent back. He cursed himself for being so clumsy, cursed his wide thumbs. Now he couldn't back out. He could attempt to fabricate an excuse, but the chances of it working were slim. 

"lol. okay?" 

"Colson, I think I'm in love with you." Good. Straight to the point. He watched as the message was delivered, as it was read. He waited for five of the most suspenseful minutes of his life. He heard Colson's door open. 

It wasn't long before he was banging on Dominic's door. Before he entered the pass-code and swung the door open with enough force to dent it. This sobered Dominic up instantly. He jerked to a sitting position, cowering in his bunk. 

Colson's mind was racing. He was furious. How-fucking-dare his friend fall for him. He trusted him, which was clearly not something he should have done. 

“Dom, what the fuck?” How dare this fucking faggot outright say that shit to him? Make him uncomfortable, fuck with his head? All for his own sick entertainment. Their friendship would end with this. 

Dominic hid in his bunk, he hyperventilated, and the more sober he felt, the more he hated himself. But he was angry. Colson would hit on lesbian girls, married woman, women with their boyfriends. Complete disregard for their feelings. But as soon as it's a man it's disgusting. As soon as it's turned on him, then it becomes a problem. 

"I don’t want to hear it, mate." Dominic stepped out behind the curtain that separated the bunks from the sitting area. You go around offering your dick to anyone in a forty-foot radius, no thought for if they want it. If they feel comfortable. But when I have an innocent crush on a buddy, I’m the predator, I’m the freak. You need a reality check, Colson. And I never would’ve fucking told you that if I’d been in the right fuckin’ mind. Because unlike you, I didn’t want to make a friend uncomfortable. But it’s time for you to get a taste of your own fuckin’ medicine.” 

“Fuck you, you fucking queer!” Colson took a step forward, chest out. Dominic shoved; Colson shoved. Hands flew and tugged and swung. Colson wrestled Dom to the ground, towered over him, both their chests heaved. 

"Fuck. You.” Dominic spit. “You’re an asshole. I never should have trusted you. I never should’ve agreed to tour with you. Fuck you.” He inhaled, and winced like it hurt. Despite worrying about an asthma attack, but put on a tough front for as long as he could. It was when a gasp brought no relief that he realized he needed to say something. “I’m going to have an asthma attack.” 

He feared Colson would use this to his advantage. Colson may have wanted to beat the shit out of him, but he didn’t want to watch his friend-status pending-die. He extended an arm and fumbled for the inhaler on the counter. Gently, Colson brought it to Dominic’s lips, pressing down and allowing him to inhale. He broke the tough exterior for a moment. 

“Better?” He sounded concerned behind the aggressive tone lacing his voice. 

“Much.” 

They didn’t break eye contact. Colson brought his hand to Dominic’s jawline, intensifying the stare. Colson didn’t know what he was doing. His mind raced. He thought about how much he cared for his friend; how wrong this counteraction was. He couldn't clear his head, despite being completely sober for the first time that week. 

Before he could catch himself, Colson brought his lips to his Dominic's. Despite everything that had led to this moment, the kiss they shared was single most therapeutic thing Colson had experienced. He dropped every prejudice he carried prior, and gave himself to entirely to the moment. He felt a hand snake around his neck, and swiped his tongue along Dominic's lower lip. Colson had been with one hundred women, and none could replicate this feeling. He pulled away for a brief second. Dom’s eyes filled with fear, disappointment. Colson leaned back in, connected their lips once more. He caught himself smiling, he lost track of time. 

This time when Colson pulled away, he leaned against the couch. Broke most physical contact with Dominic. He let out a uneasy sigh and brought his hand to the back of his neck, where Dominic's had been. Dominic made a brave move and grabbed Colson’s fingertips. He didn’t pull away. The air sat stale; Colson mustered up the courage to speak first. 

“Dom. Listen, I’m not-” He swallowed hard. Dominic knew what he meant. 

“I know.” Dominic stared at their still linked hands, before pulling his away. “I know, Colson. You should go.” 

Colson didn’t say another word, he couldn't. He simply nodded and stepped off the bus, headed for his own. He acted as normal as possible. He told anyone who caught on that he must have contracted whatever virus Dominic had. 

Colson crawled into his bunk; limbs heavy. He thought about the kiss; about how it felt to have Dominic’s hand on his neck. He thought about the intoxicating rush when their lips met. He craved more, he craved Dominic. But Colson was not gay. He didn't like men; he'd never found himself attracted to men. He hadn't even noticed Dominic until his confession. It felt like his world was crashing down around him. 

Colson distanced himself from Dominic whenever they were off the stage. During show there was a noticeable difference. All that was on his mind was the kiss. How much he loved it; how much he hated that he did. He caught himself looking at Dominic often. He had to stop his mind from wandering to places that scared him. Their interaction couldn't even be described as friendly. It was nonexistent. 

The more Colson found himself thinking about Dominic, the more he distanced himself. They often caught each other staring; they didn’t even try to hide it. They started performing both their hearts out, because it let them be genuine. Colson would feel torn up inside, and screaming every night about his raw emotions let him release it. Dominic sang like every line was for Colson, and Colson alone. 

It was two weeks before either of them reached out to interact. Colson invited himself into Dominic’s bus. His plan was to tell him that he wanted to move past all of the bullshit, that he wanted to be friends again. But the smell of Dominic’s cologne brought everything rushing back. His lips tingled, he felt his face heat up, his heart pounded. 

“Hey, mate. What’re you doing here?” Dominic's voice snapped Colson from his trance. 

“I came here to tell you that I wanted to be friends again. I wanted to move past this-whatever this is.” Colson sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut. 

“I’m glad you said that, I agree wholeheartedly. I miss how things were, and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I don't know wh-” Dominic sputtered out. Colson's head snapped up and met him in the eyes. 

“That was my original plan, but the moment I walked in I smelled you, and everything, all the memories, came flooding back. I don’t know what the fuck you’ve done to me, Dominic, but I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone. I see you on stage and I can’t get you out of my mind. I don’t want things to go back to how they were.” Colson felt like he was choking out his words. He felt like he was watching himself speak, having no say in the matter. "I need you in my life; I need that in my life." 

"Kells, I don’t know what to say. I care so much about you, and the other night felt like an absolute dream come true. But I'm not sure how to feel about it. I mean you said it yourself. You're straight.” Dominic muttered, the end was half chuckled, he fidgeted with his sleeve. Colson closed the gap between them. His hand resting on Dominic's waist. Their heartbeat could be heard a mile away, in perfect erratic synchronization. 

"That's what I thought too. But Dom, I haven't been able to get you out of my head for a minute since that night. I can't in good conscience continue to use heterosexuality to ignore my feelings for you. I wouldn't call myself gay, or whatever. But I do know that I'm attracted to you, there's no denying it." He let out a sigh and chewed on his lower lip. "Now please, for the love of all that is holy, can I kiss you?" 

Dominic nodded and let his eyes fall closed. Colson pulled him in, and let their lips meet. He smiled and let his hands slide under Dominic’s shirt. Neither of them wanted to pull away. If they could have stayed in that position forever, they would have. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve pictured this exact moment.” Dominic whispered, letting his head fall against Colson's chest, felt him laugh gently. Dom smiled and wrapped his hand around Colson’s neck, bringing their lips together again. 

"What now?" Dominic mumbled into Colson's chest. Colson sighed, reality setting in. "We can't tell anyone; it would destroy everything. I wish it wasn't like that, but it is. I do want to see you. I want to be with you. You're worth the struggle, worth the sneaking around." He paused. "If I am." Dominic nodded. "It will work, for now. It will have to."

**Author's Note:**

> Wow thank you so so so much for reading this. Please leave any feedback, good or bad, I need it.


End file.
